Pallavi: Vacation after First Year


Note from Indian Cross-dressing Novel: This story has been contributed by our reader Pallavi Desai. All the rights to this story belongs to her. We are merely the publishers of this story.

Disclaimer: Due to our lack of expertise in this domain, Indian Crossdressing Novel cannot ascertain the claims made in this story. If you need any further clarification about things discussed her, please contact Pallavi Desai on facebook.

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After few days, Masi asked me at night if I am interested in working with NGO working for LGBT community.

I asked masi: What is LGBT community?

Masi: It stands for Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgendered.

Me: What type of activities such NGO does?

Masi: They conduct awareness program, psychological and medical counseling / assistance, invite guest to give lecture or write in media and helps in establishing dialogues between the concerned persons and his/her family members and friends and helps community by providing legal help and protection by involving police department.

Me: Why LGBT community members need protection?

Masi: Sometime anti social elements blackmail this community’s member and extract money or sexual harassments.

Me: Who is transgender?

Masi: It is a broad based term used to describe Eunuch/ Hijada/ Chhaka/ Paveyia, cross dressers, transvestites, drag queen, trans-woman [male who has changed sex to become woman] and transsexuals. In short the term describes sexual variants of males to show their female behavior.

Me: I am interested in working with such NGO.

Masi arranged for my working with NGO “LAKSHYA”. I got lot of understanding of LGBT community, problems faced by them, society’s ignorance, intolerance, not willing to accept them, feeling of shame, guilt and uncertain future, worried about living a dignified life with respect. I decided that I will work for the welfare of LGBT community in general and Trans-woman and eunuch in particular. I told masi my decision and asked her to help me totally about my future welfare work to be done in this chosen field.

After few days when we were in canteen, I opened the topic of eunuchs and I asked my friends what do they know and feel about them. The reply was not encouraging because they said due to friendship they are supporting me but in general they are ignorant on this subject and they do not know anything on such topic. Few said that they (eunuchs) are rude, use bad language, extract money by threatening and cannot be trusted.

I asked them what is such person’s fault?

Many of them are decent, some are even highly educated, caring, peace loving and helpful and still society in general rejects them. Just because they do not fall under the society’s expected norms of clothes and behavior they are insulted and ridiculed. Let me ask you, even among normal people how many are really trustworthy?  

Just try to imagine that you are sincere, good at work and still continuously you are abused, insulted, ridiculed will you not become arrogant, aggressive and rude? Why are you giving such reactions? You are educated still you lose your temper; same is the conditions of eunuchs.

Do you have any idea how much they are suffering? They even do not  have the basic right or enjoy facilities like: cannot go to school or college for further study, denied medical treatment at dispensaries /clinics / hospitals, cannot open bank accounts, cannot get insurance, even if educated cannot get employment and no one is willing to give home on rental basis. Family abandons them. Any idea how frustrating and helplessness type of life they are living?

Where will they live? In Slums,  on foot paths, at railway platforms or bus stops. What is their source of income? Begging, prostitutions and some time illegal work like theft, drug or smuggled items.

Think about all these seriously and tell me if some of your family member is suffering like this, what will you do?

Nidhi: If what you are saying is correct, they are living a pathetic life and must be helped. But what about male to female cross dressers and persons who want to change sex and become a woman?

Me: Cross dressers when not accepted by family and friends some of them run away and join community of eunuchs. Most of them live with guilt, shame and dissatisfaction of not accepted. Very small percent of cross dressers feels they are in wrong body and so they listen to their hearts, thoughts and convert themselves into comfortable body of woman. All these type of persons are seeking our acceptance and love.

Friends, please think how miserable life they are living and I am sure you will behave with them more decently and sympathetic.

At night I discussed this matter with masi and asked what is your opinion  if I start a grooming center for cross dressers at our place?

Masi: We will discuss later. Today I have some important work

My result came and I got 1st class. Everyone is happy.

Next day

Masi: What do you mean by grooming center?

Me: Most of cross dressers do not have place for cross dressing. They are in need of many types of help. Cross dressers need help in purchasing clothes / getting them stitched to their measurements, jewellery, bangles, anklets, wigs and hair styling, tatto selection and applying makeup properly, under garments and lastly but of not less importance is of draping sari, handling sari / dupatta, talking – walking and behaving like girl etc. If I start such center I can help them and my training thus far can be put to use. At present many of them are visiting places for cross dressing activities to possibly unsafe places.

Masi: What do you mean by unsafe places?

Me: Some of them go to eunuchs home and do cross dressing and ask eunuchs to take photos.

Masi: Why do you consider it unsafe?

Me: There is a possibilities of black mailing or taking undue advantage by charging very heavily for providing such facilities or may be forced to get involved in sex. If I start providing such services it will be absolutely safe and at affordable charges. Even I can also teach them dancing, cooking so if someone really wants to learn. This will help me earning money which can be saved for my sex change operation. Most importantly I will select only those who do not drink, indulge in sex or any illegal activities so there will be no nuisance to others. In future if resorts, restaurants and hoteliers are willing I can arrange for their safe outing.  I don’t want to go to native place but I want to start this activity in summer vacation.

Note: I got this idea of grooming center or finishing schools for cross dressers while searching internet for my information. Such services are available in USA and other countries.

Masi gave consent and promised that she will help spreading the idea. I informed in my group. I also informed LAKSHYA. Smita suggested giving advertisement in local newspaper but Nidhi said first we will try with other collages and secondary school lecturer/teachers and try to search students who are participating at various occasions in role of girl. We want to start the activities silently.

Smita sent her cousin to me. Her name is Karuna. She sat across me and looked lost in thought.

Me: Tell me without any hesitation. I am your friend like Smita. Whatever you talk to me will be kept confidential so please relax.

Karuna: Is it true that you are starting services for cross dressers?

Me: Yes.

Karuna: What type of services do you intend to provide?

Me: Some cross dressers, if are in initial stage, can be treated and with counseling become normal so I have talked with two doctors from psychology and endocrinologist. If cross dresser cannot be treated I have planned to give complete support services. May I know for whom you are trying to get the details?

Karuna remained silent for sometimes then she told “for my brother”. He is cross dressing since more than five years. I tried to pursue him to leave it but he says this is the only activity which brings relaxation and peace of my mind. He is asking what is wrong in it; I am enjoying it like anything. Why you insist that I should leave it? He argues that when girls can wear gents clothes, behaves in tomboyish style why I cannot cross dress?

Me: There is a basic difference. Girl never changes her name from female to male and she never changes her gender as male while cross dressers always use female name and gender as female. Girls even after wearing clothes other behavior remains basically female but cross dressers want to do house hold work and very anxiously eager that they get opportunity to appear in public as females. They completely transforms as female by wearing bra with false boobs, body hair removal, wig etc. Cross dressing is something deeper and cannot be compared to girls wearing gent’s clothes.

Karuna: I do not know about all such differences.

Me: So what have you decided finally?

Karuna: I want to make him happy and I want you to help him.

Me: It is fine. I can help him by my various services. I will try to see that he becomes as much normal looking female as possible. I want no cross dresser should look ugly when he comes out in open as SHE.

Karuna: Which services will you be providing and what are the charges?

Me: Broadly services will come under group of Beauty parlor – clothing – jewellery -wig selection and hair styles possible with wig – dancing – talking, walking and handling clothes/hair like a female and presenting himself as “SHE” in public. About charges though I want to earn so that I can have money for my sex change operation, I will not insist on charges. I am starting this activity to provide them a safe place and help them purchase their required items. I will either go with them for purchase or arrange confidential tailor to stitch their dresses, blouse etc at my place.

Karuna: Can you tell me in more details?

Me: Under Wig – I will help about different type of wigs available, selection, adjusting, taking care of it and what hair styles are possible with selected wig.

Under Beauty parlor I will, if participant wanted to learn, I will teach – body hair removal, applying eye and face makeup, foundation types, artificial eyebrows and eye lashes fitting, pedicure & manicure, nail shaping & artificial nail fixing, facial, applying tatoo and mehandi and details of cosmetics.

Under clothing I will guide them which type of dress is appropriate with color & print design, different types of dresses, sari draping, different types of bra- breast form and under garment and help them in purchasing the same or getting them stitched by tailor.

Under jewellery I will cover different types of bangles / bracelets, chains, earring and nose pins, toe rings, anklets and tikka [to be tied in hair but hangs on forehead] etc.

Under dancing I will cover all the basic steps of ras, garba [folk dance of Gujarat] and few steps based on film songs. This will also include expressing through eyes and face. If student is interested even I can teach Bharat Natyam.

Lastly it is most important to walk, talk and behave like female by handling clothes, hair, facial expression and body movements.

I am also exploring the possibility of safe outing in public because I know families and friends who will accept them so my students can participate in birthday parties, marriage ceremonies and other social functions.

I am myself going to organize minimum one show yearly in which my students will take part as female.

Let me tell you one thing very clearly. Cross dressers are posing as females but it will require lot of practices to bring perfection. You know it very well as to how many years a genetic female takes to have correct posture, hair styles, walking in different styles and all this is possible because of lot of practices on daily basis for years. Same discipline and sincerity is required by cross dresser also.

Karuna: How much time will it take?

Me: Between 3 to 6 months, may be one year depending upon the preparedness of the learner.

Karuna: How many students are enrolled with you?

Me: Two, your brother will be third if you agree to send him here.

Kasruna: When will you start your training?

Me: The moment I get seven, I will start.

Karuna: I am definitely sending my brother and within a week you will get rest.

Me: It is fine. I will start in a week time.

KAruna: It is OK that you are not after money but how much you are going to charge?

Me: Six month’s fees Rs. 5000/- (without dresses) all other stuffs will be provided by me. You can pay whatever is affordable by you. I will also have CDs and Magazines of girls’ interest. You will be allowed to practice as long as you wish at my place on your own after my teaching. I may or may not remain present during practice session.

Karuna: This is very less, keep it minimum Rs.10000/ and give concession to deserving who cannot afford.

Me: I have already committed to my previous two students for Rs.5000 and that to they are going to pay in installments.

Karuna: Leave this aspect to me and I will see that you get appreciation and reasonable money,

As promised Karuna got other students and so the training began under the name of Pallavi Finishing School for Girls.

Before starting regular classes I called all my students and did all required purchase so that they come to my class, change into girls and learn as girls.

I strictly warned them that no one will be allowed to smoke, drink or indulge into sexual activities in this premises. I want to present you to the world as decent educated well behaving person who have the passion of cross dressing.

To be continued …

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