Chandi Chowk

Sometimes living alone can be a blessing for a crossdresser!

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Our note: This story has been contributed by lovely Amita Sikka in response to Expression Challenge #2. If you like this story or if you know her, don’t forget to send her a message on Facebook! And please do write comments on our facebook page.

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Being transferred out of your home town, away from you family, is not exactly a time to rejoice. But for me , though I had separation pangs, I also had a sense of exhilaration and being presented with a chance to live alone and be release my inner beautiful self.

So here I was , in a bigger city, in a land full of opportunities. Surely the kind of opportunity I was desperate for. After a few days , needed to find a rental accommodation and settle down, I set out on my quest. The preparations and the research had been on for quite a while. In fact ever since I learnt of my transfer to a new city, my excitement was palpable.

This was like a dream place for any indian crossdresser.

Chandni Chowk it was. The lanes and lanes of shops full of tempting lehengas and bridal wear made me feel like a kid in a candy store. Here I was, soon about to realize a dream of not only choosing my own lehenga but also getting it custom made . Though I was also quite nervous. It was not my first time out shopping for my hobby and passion as I had done a bit of it in the past. A lot though had been ordered online. Thank god for the internet explosion and the convenience and anonymity online shopping offers. But a lehenga could not be bought online. I had to touch mine and take the sensation in before I decided on one. Owning one and calling it my own still gives me goosebumps.

A couple hours had been spent and I was yet to chance upon something which took my fantasy. It was with trepidation that I entered this shop. But as soon as I entered it I saw a mustard one with Rajasthani print and I just realized that this is it. I pointed it to the shopkeeper and made my purchase with the same old excuse of buying it for my girlfriend. The lining was also yellow and was of satin. God I could not wait to feel it swishing against my legs. I had noted the measurements, thanks to some online help, and was promised that it would be stitched an delivered the next day.

Though the wait was excruciating but I also had to give final touches to the next part of my plan. I knew what I wanted and had been chatting up a friend for quite a while. A friend who would help me realize my dream and live, even if just a day and night, as what I truly wanted to be. The date was set for the coming weekend and it would give me time to buy some lingerie and heels to match my lehenga choli.

Only I know how I spent the week waiting for Saturday. I treated myself to a full wax on Friday . Had to look great for my friend and the lehenga touching my hairless legs would keep me tingling the whole time.

Here I was this Saturday evening. All dressed and made up and ready for my friend/groom. Being a bride and spending a day and night as a coy one with her husband had taken some time and planning and was I excited and nervous. It had been decided that I would be dressed to the nines and would open the door for my groom. I had done my makeup as well as I could. Though I would have loved a professional makeover but I was too nervous and apprehensive of one. Anyway I had acquired decent makeup skills over the last few years. The tight blouse and the heavy lehenga with its satin lining swishing against my legs was constantly transporting me to a feminine heaven I was living at that moment.

We had decided that once he is outside my door he would give me a missed call and then ring the doorbell. This would help me avoid any misadventure. I was sitting In front of the mirror admiring myself and letting my imagination run wild when my phone buzzed for a while and went silent. Then the doorbell rang. Yes it was him. My heart started beating faster. I was about to open the door for my groom on what was going to be my wedding night. The wedding night I had fantasized for years.

I got up and lifted my lehenga to prevent it from getting entangled with my 4 inch golden heels. The clicking sound of the heels and the henna I had drawn on my legs, though quite amateurish and just an orange sketch pen art, was giving me goosebumps.

Here I come to open the door.

I opened the door and my handsome groom was standing outside with a bouquet. Chivalrous and handsome. He came in ,gave me the bouquet with a peck on my cheeks. “Ami you look so lovely. I wasn’t expecting this”. I knew he was lying but his words were sheer magic. I lifted my lehenga again in an effort to walk with him but was swooped up by him and carried to the bed. “I cant let my bride walk on a day as special as this”. I was so living my dream and my fantasy and nothing could be better. It was going exactly the way I had imagined and my happiness knew no bounds.

I knew what was coming next. Our lips touched and the magic started flowing.

I will not elaborate and leave a lot to imagination but I had quite a night. A lot of years have passed since then but the memory is like it happened yesterday. That lehenga was my first and I had the pleasure of owning a few more after that but my first was my first . Responsibilities and family has happened since then and the opportunities to be myself are few and far between. Am thankful that I lived my fantasy albeit for a brief while.

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